Fairytales & Devastation

This is the space between dreams
and the breakdown of the human soul,
nirvana and heartbreak.
This is a collection of fairy tales & devastation.

I think it is finally settling in with my co-workers and close friends that I will never be completely well. I have good days, I even have nearly “normal” days that feel like I did before I got sick, but those are not my “normal”. Those are my “I feel so amazing I could jump and scream and cry!” days. My “normal” is stiffly shuffling to the shower every morning, if I have energy for a shower, downing a handful of pills at breakfast, taking prescription doses of ibuprofen to manage the day’s aches and pain, or Tramadol or Tylenol #3 in ibuprofen won’t cut it. Making it through my work day to come collapse at home in utter exhaustion, no cooking or cleaning after work… 

I know I’m not nearly as sick as a lot of people with other chronic illnesses, and I am thankful for that, but I don’t have the life on a completely healthy person. I never leave home without my pill boxes, pain meds of a few different strengths… I have to think about how far I park from the door, how many steps am I going to go up, what sort of seating is available. 

There are nights when I’m in a bad flare that I can’t sleep in my bed, I can only alleviate the pain in my knees and hips by carefully arranging myself in a recliner with pillows propping up my bad joints and heating pads placed strategically. 

I know I’m fortunate to be able to live with the level of normalcy that I do, but I am not in denial about the changes this disease has brought about in my life. I think those in moderate proximity to my illness are beginning to see it as well, and to understand that my ‘normal’ and theirs are very different. I’m grateful for their understanding. 

Ok, this gave me a momentary heart attack. One of my arthritis medications has the potential for causing vision problems such as color blindness, distortion, etc. One of the tests they give me at my six month eye appointments is a grid to look at to see if any of the lines are distorted to me………………..-__________-

Ok, this gave me a momentary heart attack.
One of my arthritis medications has the potential for causing vision problems such as color blindness, distortion, etc.

One of the tests they give me at my six month eye appointments is a grid to look at to see if any of the lines are distorted to me………………..

-__________-

(via velvetedgeneonvoid)

I think I’m going to become nocturnal until summer is over. -_____-

I think I’m going to become nocturnal until summer is over. -_____-

acidshenko:

literarysins:

In light of the 50 Shades of Grey trailer coming out today, quick reminder that that book is about an abusive and controlling relationship, not BDSM.

Fanfiction (published or not) is important for women of all ages to explore gender roles and sexuality in a way that is less stigmatized and more accessible. 

But do not do the BDSM community a disservice by calling the relationship described in the book a BDSM experience. 

This this this this this this

(via lovetheroughedge)

I felt beautiful today, had a great doctor’s appointment, and visited my sweet friend Kailin who gave birth to her firstborn yesterday, Anna Kate! She is beautiful and perfect and I’m so thrilled for Kailin and her husband Jordan.

Necklace by The Paper Poppy Store, earrings by Airship 67, both of Etsy. Dress from Hot Topic.

edwardspoonhands:

The whole SciShow office is so freaking stoked about this it’s adorable. To be clear, I also have not been this excited about a movie (that wasn’t based on my brother’s book) since Deathly Hallows.

Oh. My . Glob.